This child abuse story from Cassidy page was
created June 17, 2007 and was originally posted on June 9, 2007 as story #143.
Cassidy is from Denver, Colorado, USA.
The following child abuse story from Cassidy
depicts: sexual and physical abuse at the hands of her brother and child
neglect by her parents
The child abuse effects on Cassidy: suicidal, feelings of hopelessness, self-blame, belief that God has disowned her, treated for depression and placed in psyche wards numerous times because her parents believe she is self-harming--Cassidy says what has really happened is that her brother has been the one to physically abuse her but she won’t tell on him out of fear
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Hello. My name is Cassidy. I used to live
with my parents and my older brother. Just recently, my brother moved out of
the house and it has become a better place.
The abuse started when I was around two. I
was told by my parents to crawl into the bathtub with my brother, who was eight
at the time. So I got undressed, but he stopped me from getting in the tub. He
told me he wanted to show me something he found fun. He said he watched his
best friend do it to his sister. He made me lay down and he started to touch my
privates. He said it was all in good fun and that Mommy and Daddy would punish us
if they found out. After he was done touching me, we crawled into the bath and
pretended like nothing happened. This went on every other night for four years.
My mommy told me that I had to start taking
baths on my own. I was a little disappointed because I had grown to like the
feeling, but at the same time I was relieved. But this was when I started to
hate having a brother.
My mom left me home with him while she ran
errands. He told me to take my clothes off, like if we were taking a bath. Then
he told me to lay on the bed. He started to lick my privates. After he did it
for a few minutes, he told me to suck his private part. I cried, but he didn't
care one bit. After this day, he stopped being sexual with me and started being
physical. He would stand there and beat me till I was black and blue all over.
I missed a lot of school. I just told my parents I kept falling off the swing
in the backyard and was too stupid to stay off it. My mother didn't believe me
for one bit, but agreed to drop it. Then she started to think I was doing it to
myself. I always told her I was depressed, so she thought I was taking out my
anger at myself.
I was sent to see someone special, and I was
deemed unstable. I had to stay in a psych ward for five days while being
monitored all the time. I was put on antidepressants. When I got back home, my
brother became sexual with me again. Then it became my twelfth birthday party.
He locked me in my room and raped me. It hurt. I tried to cry, but he had his
hand over my mouth too hard. He raped me once a week till he moved when I was
thirteen. That was two months ago. I haven't told anyone about it yet.
My mother keeps putting me in psych wards because I keep trying to kill myself. I will never forgive my brother, but there is nothing else I can do about it. My father says that if I try to kill myself one more time, I'm getting sent to the psych ward for good and he will never visit me. I love my daddy but I just don't want to have to feel the pain that I do. I feel that God has even disowned me for my actions, and that he loves my brother still. I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like running away from home and dying of starvation.
NOTE: Information pages on this site were based on material from the Canadian Red Cross RespectED Training Program. Written permission was obtained to use their copyrighted material on this site.
Child abuse story from Cassidy was re-formatted May 30, 2015
From Victim to Victory
How I got over the devastating effects of child abuse and moved on with my life