Child Abuse Story From
Cassidy

Cassidy is from Denver, Colorado, USA

The following child abuse story from Cassidy depicts: sexual and physical abuse at the hands of her brother and child neglect by her parents

The child abuse effects on Cassidy: suicidal, feelings of hopelessness, self-blame, belief that God has disowned her, treated for depression and placed in psyche wards numerous times because her parents believe she is self-harming--Cassidy says what has really happened is that her brother has been the one to physically abuse her but she won’t tell on him out of fear

Hello. My name is Cassidy. I used to live with my parents and myolder brother. Just recently, my brother moved out of the house and it has become a better place.

The abuse started when I was around two. I was told by my parents to crawl into the bathtub with my brother, who was eight at the time. So I got undressed, but he stopped me from getting in the tub. He told me he wanted to show me something he found fun. He said he watched his best friend do it to his sister. He made me lay down and he started to touch my privates. He said it was all in good fun and that Mommy and Daddy would punish us if they found out. After he was done touching me, we crawled into the bath and pretended like nothing happened. This went on every other night for four years.

My mommy told me that I had to start taking baths on my own. I was a little disappointed because I had grown to like the feeling, but at the same time I was relieved. But this was when I started to hate having a brother.

My mom left me home with him while she ran errands. He told me to take my clothes off, like if we were taking a bath. Then he told me to lay on the bed. He started to lick my privates. After he did it for a few minutes, he told me to suck his private part. I cried, but he didn't care one bit. After this day, he stopped being sexual with me and started being physical. He would stand there and beat me till I was black and blue all over. I missed a lot of school. I just told my parents I kept falling off the swing in the backyard and was too stupid to stay off it. My mother didn't believe me for one bit, but agreed to drop it. Then she started to think I was doing it to myself. I always told her I was depressed, so she thought I was taking out my anger at myself.

I was sent to see someone special, and I was deemed unstable. I had to stay in a psych ward for five days while being monitored all the time. I was put on antidepressants. When I got back home, my brother became sexual with me again. Then it became my twelfth birthday party. He locked me in my room and raped me. It hurt. I tried to cry, but he had his hand over my mouth too hard. He raped me once a week till he moved when I was thirteen. That was two months ago. I haven't told anyone about it yet.

My mother keeps putting me in psych wards because I keep trying to kill myself. I will never forgive my brother, but there is nothing else I can do about it. My father says that if I try to kill myself one more time, I'm getting sent to the psych ward for good and he will never visit me. I love my daddy but I just don't want to have to feel the pain that I do. I feel that God has even disowned me for my actions, and that he loves my brother still. I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like running away from home and dying of starvation.