Child Abuse Story From Shayla
by Shayla
(Alaska, USA)
When I was younger, my mom and dad fought constantly. They were both alcoholics and drug addicts. I remember as a little girl, my mom always having people over. Guys would come in my room at night or I'd be sitting on the couch and random guys would feel my legs and rub on me.
My dad raped my brother numerous times.
My mom was violent. I remember one time she took me and my cousins to this lake. She had been drinking and it was late and cold. She shoved me in the lake and held me under the water for awhile. I kept trying to get back on the dock. She'd let me get halfway up then push me back me in.
My mom would abuse my dad sometimes. He was terrified of her. Me and my brother were watching TV and we saw my dad run passed us and we looked down the hall and my mom ran after him with a butcher knife. She started stabbing the door trying to get to him. He jumped out the window and broke his leg and took off down the street.
I rarely attended school. My mom was always too drunk or high. Me and my brother would leave and walk around the neighborhood all night. I came home from school and it was pouring rain. My mom locked me out of the house and said I couldn't come inside until I was dry.
When my little brother was born there were five of us living in a nasty motel room. My brother was 3 days old being fed a bottle with Dr. Pepper. My mom would yell and scream at him for him to shut up. She would call my aunt and say that she was going to throw him through the wall if he didn't stop. The social worker that was supposed to come and check on us would get drunk with my mom. I finally got out of this situation. It still affected me.
I have PTSD, depression, trauma-induced seizures, bipolar, ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). I have to see counselors to cope with life. But even though I had a rough life, I'm making it on my own. I'm about to graduate from high school, have my first child, and I'm healthy. I don't do drugs or drink.
Don't blame what happens to you on the problems you have. You make the choice to be like that. You can be better than whoever it was that did you wrong. I am...
Note from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled
Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at
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Child Abuse Story From Shayla Part 2
by Shayla
(Alaska, USA)
I was abused, and neglected as a child. Most of my childhood I've blocked from my memory and only remember bits and pieces. I never used to remember anything bad from my childhood. Until I was about 12 I never knew why I always had to go see counselors and talk to people. I started having nightmares when I was 12 about stuff I later found out to have actually happened to me.
I've had dreams of me lying there while guys are all over me touching me. I'm a little girl and just sit there. My mom's sitting right there. I don't know what of the dreams are memories and which my mind is creating.
I'm now an adult I'm 18. As a teenager I have been raped and molested several times. It got to the point where I didn't care. I would just lay there while guys did things to me. I've been drugged and raped while I was unconscious twice.
The last time a guy tried to take advantage of me was when I finally had enough. I was trying to get back with my boyfriend and he didn't trust me because I had a past. This guy I had no clue who he was he held me down and put my pants around his head so I couldn't roll or move and kept trying to go inside me. I squeezed my knees into his side so he couldn't and kept my elbows on his chest to hold him, up off me. He kept telling me I could leave when he was done, and kissing my stomach because I was 6 months pregnant telling my son he loved him.
I don't know why it took me this long to finally stand up and say no and mean it. I don't know why I always let guys take advantage of me. I have never reported any of those incidents because I just laid there. I asked for it and I can't blame them for what happened. I could have stopped it.
Now I'm finally to the point where I know I deserve to be with someone who loves me. My boyfriend who is the one I was wanting to get with then. He doesn't fully trust me yet but has stuck by me through the hardest times in my life. While I was a teenager living in homeless shelters and on the streets and couch surfing. Whenever he could he was there. Even after I went through a stage of being promiscuous he is still with me. We're trying to work things out and build trust back before we build a relationship again.
My mom told me I couldn't have been raped or molested because I didn't act like a rape victim. I wasn't scared to be alone, be around guys, be in a relationship. For me every time it happened I cared less and less. I barely remember everything that happened, all those things guys did to me. The only time I remember clearly is when I finally decided to say no and mean it and not take it anymore.
Note from Darlene: I welcome you to follow me on my Facebook page at
Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I hope to hear from you there!
Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
