Child Abuse Story From Shannon5
by Shannon5
(Ontario, Canada)
I'm sitting here after reading all your posts and thinking that I need to share my story too. I've hated my mother all my life, every second of it. I feel nothing towards her other then hatred. She was and is the most awful person I've ever come in contact with. When I was a young girl I swore that someone switched babies at birth because these "parents" were not mine!
My mother was a evil witch. At a young age I knew she should have been on meds. She'd beat the living tar out of me daily, even though when I've confronted her on it she says, "Those weren't beatings; you should have seen what I got as a child." I don't care about when YOU were a child, I'm talking about ME.
I was sexually abused at the age 4 or 5. I was made to give him oral. I remember very vividly what went on and how I felt afterwards. Since that day, my sexual door has been open. I, at the age of around 5 maybe 6, had strategically broke glass and placed them on my bedroom floor, knowing she'd be coming in for my nightly spanking...needless to say, she cut the bottom of her feet. Inside, I laughed. On the outside, I didn't move a muscle.
She took out her frustrations on me until I was about 14 or 15, when I thought ok...enough is enough already...so...one day, as she was punching my back in the car while she was holding my head down, I punched her right in the mouth. I took my power back...and I was not ever going to take her garbage ever again.
From that day on, whenever she raised her hand to me, I said, "You'd better make it a good one, 'cause if I get up your getting it right back." She stopped.
I moved out of her house after marriage number 2. I was 17. It was the best thing I ever did, 'cause I knew I would have hurt her...and I would have been in jail because I had so much anger in me that I knew I wouldn't have stopped until she was dead. So I left...started a new life...got an apartment...got a job...finished school...went to therapy A LOT over the next few years.
We've tried repeatedly to have some sort of relationship, my mother and me...but I just can't with her.
I've have two beautiful daughters whom I love more than life...and will always have their backs. I smother them all the time...LOL...they just laugh now.
Now that this woman should be a "grandma" she sucks at that just as much as being a "mother". The last time I talked to her was on the phone because my youngest came home and told me some things that my "mother" had said about me...just awful things. So I called her and told her that whatever we have is between US and not to take it out on my children. Period. She was not to use them to send her poison home to me...she's just a manipulative woman. Even though she only sees them twice a year...xmas and their B-days, she can't even make those two times fun and happy and joyful that she's seeing them...no...it's totally opposite of that...and I hate her for that, 'cause I should have right from the get-go not allowed her to have ANY contact with them...but I did...because that is my girls' gramma...I should have stuck with what my heart was telling me and that was to keep her far far away from them.
I'm now divorced. Funny how that turns out...because my ex is a total male version of her...it's crazy.
That last conversation her and I had...she ended up calling me an eff'in C and that was it...I am done...to think I could have any kind of adult conversation without that childish attitude...was just silly of me to think. When I told her about my sexual abuse years ago, all she said to me was, "Well, we all have to deal with something in our lives." I'm like...are you kidding me!!! You mean to tell me that if either of my girls came to you and told you someone touched them THAT'S what you'd say...Ohhh, I was furious!!!!
I have now come to the conclusion that she's just jealous of me and what I have and what I've accomplished without ANYONE'S help...I've raised myself, finished school because of me, got a great job, have two amazing girls who mean the world to me, and god forbid if someone ever hurts them...I'll be in jail for the rest of my life, and that would be ok by me! She's just filled with so much guilt and jealousy towards me, it's eating her alive!
My youngest plays baseball. Not once has my "mother" ever taken an interest in her (she's now 12 and probably has seen her maybe 24 times in her life). NOW she's gone to two games and each time I've heard through the grapevine of family that she's said I did nothing but glared at her, or that I acted ridicules towards her...but what's the funniest...I don't even acknowledge that she's there...I'm there for my girl...NOT HER...LOL
I've learned after many many years of therapy that the stuff that I've gone through has only made me who I am today...which is a strong, independent, caring woman...and I've done that...no one else!!! For that I'm proud to say...I SURVIVED!!!
Note from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled
Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at
Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I do hope to hear from you there.
Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.
Child Abuse Story From Shannon5 Part 2
by Shannon
(Ontario, Canada)
Broke the cycle of violence: :
Over the weekend, my boyfriend and I were out for dinner, and I told him a few stories of my life. I sat there after and thought to myself... Holy Cow, I did break the cycle because my girls have NEVER ever felt fear of me... thank god!
My mother and I use that word loosely, while giving me a bath would hold me under the water and scream at me I hope you drown. She'd have her hands wrapped around my neck choking me and holding me under the water, and just before I'd pass out she'd lift me up... I remember screaming for her to stop... please.... under that water I'd go again...
Another time, her and I were sitting across from each other at the dinner table... she had made sausage (now I know why I was such a nut when it came to cutting my kids foods into tiny pieces)... anyhow I remember putting a piece in my mouth and I started choking on it... the piece was too large and it got lodge in my throat. I was gasping for air, clawing at my neck trying to motion that I couldn't breathe... she sat across from me, no expression, no nothing, just looking at me, saying "I hope you choke, I hope you die." Very VERY calmly she said this over and over. I reached for the milk and tried to swallow over and over... somehow... someway... it finally went down.. My throat felt stretched.... as she just sat there and snickered at me....
Another time, I would have been.. maybe 4ish... and well... if she found a dirty pair of underwear in the laundry, dirty meaning, little kids don't know how to wipe their bums all that great. Well, if she found them, she'd make me kneel on top of the stairs with my underwear on my head, and would put the crotch part right at my nose, and would scream, you're going to wear these until you learn how to clean your A$$... I quickly learned to hide my dirty panties under an old car that was in the yard that had been there for years and years....
I use to run away all the time... I mean... weekly... I was about 5ish... I went to one house a fair bit away from where I lived and knocked on their door and a lady answered and I asked her if she'd like to buy a little girl, that she could have me for 10 bucks... this lady of course asked me if I wanted cookies... and then called the police... they came... my father had to come and get me, and the officer told him if she does this again she'll be taken away... at that point they had a little file of me already... I'd ran away A LOT... and not one person thought... there just may be a reason as to why this child keeps running... there are so many more stories... these are just a couple that are vivid in my mind....
Thank goodness I am the mother to my two girls that I wish I would have had....
Note from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I do hope to hear from you there.
Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.
