Child Abuse Story From Scott1

by Scott
( Nova Scotia, Canada)

I live in a small community. Everyone knows everyone. I have been here my whole life, never able to get away from these same people. We all went to school together, relatives, friends, and neighbors. Failing first grade set me back with kids a year younger.

In third grade I had a female teacher. I can't remember her face or her name. But my friends do, and on occasion remind me of what they saw her do to me. They seem to enjoy replaying this great event from their own childhood. I'm not laughing. I'm enraged. Thirty five years later and I can't talk about it.

You see she was a mean, nasty, impatient woman. She hated me. Always me. Only me for punishments. I was only 8 years old when it started with corner time. It seemed every other day I was in trouble. Again and again I was to stand in the corner, "And don't you move!" When that didn't suit her she took me to the front of the class, took out a chair, sat down and put me across her lap. Oh the 7-year-olds loved it, her hand pounding my pants. These were good solid smacks and plenty of them. I was in my seat squirming from the sting, the warmth. You see, I came from non spanking parents. Oh dad was plenty abusive in other ways. I didn't even talk to him. I surly never told my parents about what happened in school. Ever!

So this woman continued this little ritual with me. No concept of time as a kid. Maybe every other week or weekly or a couple times a week. It was often and hard.

One day, she grabbed the back of my pants and underwear and gave a tug but stopped. My clothes snapped when she let go. Maybe she intended to bare me but decided not to as I was already over her knee. So she spanked the same as usual. I must admit I may have become used to them. The next time she got me was the one, for the crime of walking behind her desk after she warned everyone not to. She didn't beat them. Out came the chair. She screamed for everyone to shut up, be quiet, back your seats. Once the class was seated she sat down, holding on to my hand. She lifted my shirt and opened my pants, making sure they were good and loose. She lifted me up and over. I was a very compliant child. No struggle from me when she pushed my shirt all the way up over my shoulders to my neck. Her hands slid down my back and grabbed the waist band of my pants and underwear. A tug, then another and my clothes pulled out from under me. This woman pulled my pants and underwear down to my knees. That's when I noticed she was wearing a dress and her lap was bare. There was quite a stir from the class of boys and girls. My neighbors, friends and relatives. This woman warned them, "THE NEXT ONE I HEAR MAKE A SOUND WILL BE NEXT." Not a sound, other that some movement in their seats. It was deafeningly quiet. She lifted me up and forward and lay me further over her lap. I was dangling and my shirt fell over my head. I could see the feet and desks of the other kids, but upside down. I could only find the chair legs to hold on to. She spanked me hard with an opened hand. The only sound in that classroom was her hand landing on my bare bum, and me trying not to cry out loud. This had never in my life ever happened to me before. It really stung. It turned into pain and heat and as I squirmed I clenched and pushed on the chair legs. I arched my back and worked myself up but she held me down. Unable to fight her, my hands lost grip and slid down the chair legs as I was too tired to resist any longer. I ended up back down where I started from with a huge lump in my throat. I couldn't see through the tears. I began to really cry. I couldn't help the cries coming from my mouth. She continued spanking me until I was broken. Only once I had stopped resisting, fighting did she finish this unnecessary beating. I lay motionless as she smacked my bum and asked me if I was going to behave. She slapped once more when I didn't answer, and repeated the question. I cried yes. She smacked again and said, "I can't hear you, are you going to behave?" This woman was sick. Once she was convinced, she lifted me up by my armpits and put me on my feet. Of course my shirt was held under my arms by her hands and didn't fall to cover me. My pants slid down and I was standing in front of everyone, naked from my shoulders to my ankles. AT 8 YEARS OLD! What did my bottom look like to them, I couldn't see. After a 5-minute slapping session it must have been beet red. And my penis would have been viewed by all. She dressed me. I went to my seat and put my head down into my arms and cried, totally humiliated. This was in civilized Canada in 1973. For the crime of walking behind her desk, just like the others did. WAS THIS FAIR...?

The next time I was caught, I was play fighting in the school yard, pretending to be the six million dollar man. This same woman came storming out and grabbed me. I WAS TERRIFIED! She took me to the teachers lounge and closed the door. Now in private, she lectured me while taking off my clothes. She removed every piece of my clothing. I was already crying as she took a belt from a drawer. She sat on a leather couch and again laid me across her bare lap. With the belt snapping against my body, I blacked out. The next I remember is standing by myself in the hallway and the incredible throbbing inside my pants. I couldn't sit on the bus ride home. Did she not think it wrong to rub my bare privates back and forth rhythmically against her bare lap while belting my buttocks? At 8 years old a child can react sexually to this. A boy of 8 can get an erection on their teacher's bare lap while being spanked. This woman was sick. It has ruined my life.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Scott1" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

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Child Abuse Story From Scott1 Part 2

by Scott
(Nova Scotia, Canada)

The Beginning: 
Grade primary we went to a different school. Kind of the one-room schoolhouse. It was there that another child had taken my watch. Now just think about this for a second. How expensive of a watch would a 5- 6-year-old have. A toy perhaps. Now if I had known what would happen when I spoke up I would have stayed quiet.

I told on this boy. She marched down, grabbed him and took him up front. Over her knee, down came his pants and she used a strap or belt. Holy smokes, I had never seen that before. When she finished with him she gave back my watch. I felt bad. In front of the whole class. I wonder just how common this was.

Anyway, this kind of faded from memory. Years passed uneventfully. Then my experiences. I am not saying that my third-grade teacher didn't spank other boys because she did. She spanked my best friend in the room while I watched, at recess when other children could see through the little window in the door. One boy ran around out in the hall, about the pants-down spanking he was watching. My friend cried and kicked and her hand was turning him red. But at least it was in private, except for me.

I think it had to do with parent teacher nights...after several of those it changed for me; I needed punishment. So I would have to say that maybe many boys and maybe girls were spanked this way by her over the years before me and after. I have come to terms with this. I guess it wasn't so uncommon. Just wish it didn't happen at all. I asked my mom one time if we were bad kids, and she said no. Look at the kids today. If I had talked back like that. I realize I am not alone. But reading some of these stories can bring it all back. I thought long and hard about putting my story out here, but maybe someone will read it and not feel so alone. I actually feel better knowing that it didn't happen to just me. I just know that she spanked her own children like this, if she had any. She may have babysat and done it. Think of all the kids that came before my friend and I that she stripped and smacked. There is no way that it was just me. We just don't know about them. Maybe it was really common in school.

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Child Abuse Story From Scott1 Part 3

by Scott
(Nova Scotia, Canada)

The effects of witnessing spankings: 
This submission is in honor of a long lost friend. I am telling a bit of his story and a bit more of mine. This relates directly to Part 2: The Beginning...I had already been spanked in school myself many times. By this point of my childhood, just the thought of spanking terrified me. I would lose breath, my heart would pound and I would say or do nearly anything to get out of getting one. It was so, so traumatizing to an 8-year-old to be stripped and spanked in public, (school). If you read the earlier parts of my story then you will understand.

It was recess. We were in a smaller room with the door shut. I think it was a fast solution for a teacher looking for a place to spank in a hurry. I don't know what my friend did, and me, being his best friend, how I didn't get blamed too. I saw what was happening. I remember backing away. This could actually be the beginning of my anxiety attacks and phobia of authority figures. Of course, I best not use his name.

This woman teacher liked spanking little boys. She took my friend by the arm and dragged him to a table. It was one of those laminated wood tables with the steel tube legs. We're talking 1973. They had matching chairs. I remember the chair legs well because I remember holding on to them tightly as this same teacher slapped MY bare ass.

My friend begged her to stop and threatened to tell. Can you imagine back then speaking back at an adult? He was yelling for her to stop and she was taking his pants and underwear down to his ankles. I remember backing up further and further, until I was against the far wall. I don't know why I was trapped there. I don't know why I didn't leave. I remember thinking that I was next, and that running would mean getting caught and getting it next and worse. I didn't, though.

My friend, 7-8, was threatening this teacher with reporting her. He was saying that his parents were on the school board and he could get her fired. I watched as he squirmed and fought and as his buttocks turned red. I don't remember turning away. I didn't close my eyes. I don't remember her dressing him. I do remember our neighbors out in the hallway running around excitedly, telling everyone to come watch through the vertical little window in the door. "Come watch, he's getting a spanking, pants down!" My friend never ever admitted that he got pants down. I remember the look of embarrassment on his face as he said it. I was there, I saw it. It was just you and I and HER. Nowadays they have grief counsellors in school, but not back then.

A year or so later, I was at my friend's house. He was playing with matches. His older sister, who hated him, told on him. I never touched them. His mother sniffed his coat and he was caught. Sulpher stinks. He was playing in a large wooden packing box. He was sent to his room and told to undress. I sat on the couch just in front of his bedroom door with his grinning sister. I couldn't believe his mother returned with a wide belt. As soon as he saw it he was crying and begging. I never knew he was spanked at home. I bet he never told her about school.

From behind the door I heard her say for him to take them off too, but the old wood door didn't close so well and slowly swung open. He was begging, but took off his underwear and she turned him over the foot of the bed. She strapped him, completely nude. She did eventually notice us sitting and watching and closed the door and beat him. I saw enough and heard too much. His sister said to me during all this, "You may as well go home because he isn't coming out to play anymore today." Once the door opened, I saw my friend jump under the covers, bawling.

I don't know why as a child I didn't have the sense to go home. I chose to watch instead. I really think that I was conditioned to follow orders. Brainwashed in school and so afraid to disobey, that I was sitting there just in case I was next. Maybe that's what really happened at school a year or so before. I followed along, expecting to be next. Just wanted to please, just wanted to obey, just in case I was supposed to be next. No one actually told us anything.

What is the etiquette for showing up to be undressed and spanked severely in front of all your friends? Are you not really supposed to run? Were we like sheep who blindly followed along to the slaughter? Should I wait in case, just in case I was supposed to be next? Was I supposed to get undressed in preparation while waiting my turn? Was I a stupid kid who wanted this to happen to me? I mean, I knew it was always on the bare. Was I brainwashed by authority, teachers? Was I that afraid? DID I WANT TO BE SPANKED? DID I WANT TO WATCH? Why didn't I say no? I was 8-10 years old. I feel I am telling another's story, but it is my story too, and must be told.

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Child Abuse Story From Scott1 Part 4

by Scott
(Nova Scotia, Canada)

Children and sex in the early 70's: 
Back in my childhood we had no cable tv. An antenna on the roof brought us 2 or 3 channels of snow filled black and white news and entertainment through an old tube filled television. We didnt touch the tv, it was fathers. Cable didnt exist.

Computers were decades away and the Internet was just a dream. Anything on tv back then would be considered super decaf compared to today. Some of you might not believe this but there were no swear words on tv then. Not that I can recall anyway. No sexualized commercials like today and no music videos. I dont recall father having dirty books around and the only other connection to the outside world was the stereo and I wasn't allowed to touch that either. Country music was all we heard.

My sister was older and had a really old radio and with her friends would listen to all the light 70's music as long as father wasn't around. They had boyfriends but I dont think they're kissing was a huge influence.

I remember seeing this tv commercial about the time I was being abused at school, or shortly after. It made me very uncomfortable and I was ashamed to watch it with others in the room. there was a policeman sitting on a park bench with a young boy draped across his lap and the policeman was spanking the boy. This commercial played over and over and I still dont know what it was trying to sell. I wonder if its on YouTube. I would like to see it again.

We lived in the country and were very isolated and had to walk or bicycle. There were no such things as A.T.V.'s. This made our group of Friends small, maybe 5 of us, more girls than boys. Who ever local you could find after school and pretty much the same on summer break. Parents didnt drive us anywhere. My friend (the one I dedicated part 3 to) and I were practically inseparable.

I remember him and I outside with our pants down comparing our penis's. I remember having some girls there too and they were showing us their vagina's. It was mutual. I think we had our hands down pants because our fingers were smelly and we were grossed out.

In another place/time outside...always far away from adults, we were holding hands and walking and my friend had the skinny girl and I had the chubby girl. Much animosity. I had to keep wiping my hand off because it was so sweaty.

We found a spot in the trees to kiss. We put our mouths together and giggled and burst out laughing right into one another's mouth. We drooled profusely and there was no tongue. It was disgusting really.

We were making out and this required a hand up the girls top. At the age of 8-9(all the same age) we were just curious little kids. At one point we returned to exploring inside of the pants. The girls participated too, we didnt force them. It was all mutual excited and nervous. I put my hand down her pants in the front and the back. She put her hand down mine and yes inside of underwear.

I must specify that there was no actual goal here. I didnt know what was there because I had never seen a girl naked before. We all had bums but the other stuff was a mystery. I liked it, she seemed to enjoy it...was it wrong?

I dont think there was penetration or any intent for.

36 years later and we still see one another in the community, are still friends and smile and talk about those days.

I think I read recently of a little boy caught feeling a little girl and is now on the sex abuse registry. I shake my head. If it were today we would be marked as sexual deviant children. We weren't perverts. We aren't damaged by it.

Why cant kids today have the same freedoms we had. Its all so serious now.

What is the difference between then and now?

From Darlene: Scott, with all due respect, it's not fair to mention about a case where all the details aren't included, where there isn't information about all aspects of the case. I don't know about the case in which you are referring. But for my visitors to automatically assume that all was "innocent" is just that, an assumption. And I'm not referring to the innocence of childhood; I'm referring to the effects on the other child. You don't know the details about the other child, nor do you know what really went on. That's not to say that I don't wonder about a small boy being put on a sex offender registry; I DO wonder about such things. However, there are children who full-on sexually assault other children. In these cases, these children who offend have themselves been offended against in some way. I must point this out because recently there have been several posts on various other pages on my site that have taken liberties about the issue you've discussed above. Liberties that go beyond what this site was ever created for. Liberties that include going down memory lane in a way that is far too graphic to be written about on this site so lightly, especially when one considers that many of my visitors have themselves been violated—truly violated—by another child, a child that has penetrated, a child that has harmed.

Scott, I have in another comment pointed you toward a page on this site that explains the difference between "curiosity" or what's considered "normal childhood exploration" between children of the same age and/or of the same mental capacity, and in mutual agreement (which is what you described above; and STILL exists for the purposes of the field AND the law, by the way), and of children who are considered "molesters" of other children younger than they are, etc. For others visiting this page and reading the story above, I ask that you please read through the page Child Sex Offenders (as in "sex offenders who are children") before commenting here.

And out of respect for those who have been offended against by another child, I am asking that visitors refrain from using this thread as an opportunity to freely share about your personal "childhood exploration" experiences in a way that are inappropriate for a site like mine. I make this request because I have to balance the needs of visitors who come here to learn about child abuse, and visitors who are here because this is a safe haven for them to share about their child abuse experience and learn about how they can help themselves. I do hope you all understand the position I'm in; and I thank you for that understanding.

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Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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