Child Abuse Story From Larissa1
by Larissa
(Pensacola, Florida, USA)
I'm actually in the process of writing a story about my life. When I had the guts to tell people about my life most say Wow, you need to write a book about that. My healing process started when I was ready to sit myself down and write about my life.
As far as I can remember my father had started sexually abusing when right around the age of five. My mother was abused herself. She too had a fear of my father. Every time she had tried to leave he would threaten to stalk her and find her and then kill her or me. As I got older he became very physical towards us. I remember being thrown against walls, choked until I just about passed out, punched and slapped around like a rag doll. He mostly took his anger out on me when my mother was away at work. She didn't know about the sexual abuse. I was afraid to tell her. I knew in the back of my head there was nothing she could do to help me. I remember hearing her scream and cry at night, and I would look under the door of my bedroom and watch in fear as my father beat her over and over again.
I soon started to cut myself. This was a way for me to deal with the pain. Sometimes he would pull out his huge leather belt and pull my clothes off and strike me with it over and over again. Most the time I would lose count after 11 or so. I still to this day can feel the burns of the leather strap against my skin, and I have some scars to remind me of how much it hurt.
He got so bad that my mother had gone to work one night and he placed in some dirty movies and made me sit and watch them with him. At one point he became so violent he had ripped all my clothes off and made me have sexual intercourse with him and perform favors to him. I was about ten by now. Seemed like the more I fought to get away the worse he would become with me. I feared him so much and knew that one day he would be capable to killing one of us if not both of us. He sometimes would walk the house at night carry that gun in his hands, all of us scared to death.
I often blamed myself for the things that took place and no matter how hard I tried to tell someone it always seemed to backfire on me. I'm proud to say that after 16 years of torment and abuse my mother finally had the guts to call the police on him and he was arrested. After a week of trial in court he was charged Guilty of many counts! He was then sentenced to nine years in prison. In the year of 2002 he had escaped from his parole officer, and now as I had spent many of those years trying to recover I found myself living the nightmare once again. That's another story!
Note from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time.
Nothing, and I do mean
nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.
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Child Abuse Story From Larissa1 Part 2
by Laissa
(Pensacola, Florida, USA)
Voices of the Unheard:
I grew up in a very violent up bringing, where my father on several occians almost took my life, my say now that i was luckey to have recovered and moved on, but the truth is I havent recovered fully and sometimes feel like i havent moved on. Here its been 15 years since my father was put in prison for his crime, and yet now just now i'm dealing with flashbacks and nightmares, i've never had a problem dealing with my child abuse until now, i dont understand why now after all this time its starting to bother me, i have spent the last year writing a book about my childhood in hopes that it would help another person who was dealing with the viol rages, and from a parnet or loved one, i remember my father throwing me against walls, pulling my hair, punching me in the stomach sometimes with his fist other times with objects, on several occaision he held a gun at my head and was threating to take me life away, he broke my ribs, my ankle, and fractured my check bone, when i was 11, he sexual molested me for many years, threatening to kill my mother and sister if i said anything, at night i laied awake shaking so bad, I trimble at hearing his voices or seeing his shadown under the door, sometimes i would wake to see him sitting at the foot of my bed starring at me, for hours, i laied there pondering if he was going to take my life away from me that night, i felt frozen in time, and no matter how hard i tried to tell someone, they looked at me like i was the one that was crazy, this is nothing there is sooooooo much more, i could go on for hours. I guess i'm just confused as to way this is all bothering me now, my father is dead, he got killed himself after he voilated his parole, may would say he is gone now time to move now, but the flash backs and the nightmares, now do away, i find myself reliving some of the most terriable nightmares!
Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:
Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
