Child Abuse - A Case of Incest and Sexual Exploitation

by Ruth B
(Abuja, Nigeria)

I write this with a very heavy heart and tearful eyes. Why would a man let the fatherly love and compassion he should have for his daughter be replaced with so much lust that he has to have sexual relations with her? Why??? As the Youth Officer of WOTCLEF (Women Trafficking and Child Labor Eradication Foundation), I have seen, heard and experienced stuff, but this one, it broke me down.

We just got a report that a man has been sleeping with his daughter for the past three years. As though that was not enough, the girl introduces her cousin who is only 17 years old. This man bought the innocence and dignity of these girls with “Goodies”; he gives this little girl gala, can Maltina and N100 daily to take to school. He also drops her at school by himself. This man sleeps with the two girls in a row almost on a daily basis while the wife is away doing her fruit business. To cover his atrocities he purchased contraceptives for them to use before the act.

Once when the wife caught him with her brother’s daughter, all she said was “Go to your room and don’t do this again.” What does this tell you? The woman was fully aware of the evil going on in her house and did not say a word to anyone about it.

Why do mothers decide to be blind and deaf to the realities in our world today while the men in our promiscuous society defile and exploit these girls and sometimes boys??? Avoiding the Shame and protecting the “good” Name of the so called family “Head.” Yes, that is what they believe they are doing. Who will protect these children if the same adults they trust and are responsible for their welfare are the ones who violate them and pollute their innocence?

How can a girl who has been through these be the same again? How will she draw together herself again? Her dignity, self respect and esteem, and self worth has been tampered with. She begins to feel like a commodity. She gets the notion that in life you only get what you need or want by giving away something. Need I remind you at this juncture that all the things such men offer to these children are actually their rights? Their right to be educated, to survive, to develop, to enjoy leisure and recreational activities. By the virtue of the Child's Right Act, they should be provided these things without having to give anything in return.

We have the law but we must implement it to the later for us to enjoy its efficacy. How can we achieve that? We must all shine our eyes and ask questions when we smell something fishing between a man and the girl in the house. We must all come out and talk whenever we hear of or notice such occurrences. The Government cannot do it alone; neither can the child protection NGOs.




Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for Child Abuse - A Case of Incest and Sexual Exploitation

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Jul 20, 2011
Ruth:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

The questions you ask are the very questions that need to be asked. Only when we question can we begin to make change. When people like you speak out, and then do something to bring about that change, then change can happen. Child abuse awareness is not enough on it's own; it must be accompanied by actions that only awareness can bring about. Actions that make a difference in the lives of the children who cannot protect themselves. You, Ruth, are among the special people who can make such a difference. The one thing I will offer here is to say that fathers who sexually abuse their daughters (and others) are sex offenders, and as a result, they do not have sexual relations with their daughters; they are sexually abusing them. Taking the word "with" out of the equation ensures that there is no misunderstanding; the blame is NOT on the daughter, but rather, strictly on the shoulders of the offender. These girls (and boys, too) cannot consent, and they have no power. The power is with the abuser/offender. But there is also power in the hands of the mothers, but only if they choose to embrace that power so that they can protect their children. Mothers who do otherwise are enabling child sexual abuse; and as such, they are every bit to blame for the abuse as the offender. But all too often, they don't know any better, especially in countries where it's considered almost normal for fathers to sexually abuse their daughters. Therefore, educating women is paramount, if we have any hope of prevention and intervention. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights on this pervasive issue with my visitors and me. And keep making a difference, Ruth. We need people like you in the world.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Jul 21, 2011
Good article
by: Anonymous

Ruth, that's a good article because this really helps a lot. Oh, and I am disgusted by the women who let their men mess up their kids because kids should always come first. Again, good article!

Jul 25, 2011
Take Action
by: Ruth

Take action, the offenders must be punished and the children need to be rehabilitated. please open your eyes to such evil and act. God help us all.

Sep 21, 2011
Plead help me
by: Anonymous

Hi I an a single mother of a Beautiful 3 year old. In may my daughter came back from visiting her dads for the weekend which is court ordered every other weekend. In may my daughter who was 2 1/2 at the time told me daddy kissed her with tongue and so did Josh. She showed me how he kissed her and then her behavior changed that day she was trying to rub my boobs and saying for me to touch her body. I didn't hesitate one bit I reported it CPs got involved but they met her for five minutes two days after the report told me she is to young to be seen by a doc to check for abuse unless she has bruises. Well they also interview her dad and his words where I'm a firefighter,paramedic, and emt I know how to Attend to my two year old daughter so they dropped it! Then a week latter she said she was a b***h and she wa ruined an she had a secret but her tongue will get if she tells me. So since the police and CPs
Weren't doing there job I took her to visit family for advice . I have made two reports of possible abuse and each one they drop it! His family is jn the police department in my town so I've been harassed all for protecting my daughter! I need help my daughter is now sleepwalking an waking up with stomach aches when she comes back from her dads. My county CPs said I created it in my head and that my daughter was trying to love on me and i made it sexual. An his mother messages me saying game in.. Please help me
ruth
I will never stop protecting her but I need the state to protect get too

Mar 23, 2012
My uncle sexually abused me since I was 16 years old
by: Isabella

Hello,my name is Isabella,I am 29 year old,I am from Romania, I live in Austria,and my uncle(my father brother) lives in United States for more the 30 years.My father died when I was 12 years old.
He sexually abused me since I was 16 at my house,in Romania,and also during my stay in California,where I was studying at a high school. [I need to tell people what he did to me.]

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