Are We Allowing Society To Abuse Our Children?

by Elaine Ellis
(Lancashire, U.K.)

Food For Thought: >br>It seems to me that we live today in a society where many things are taken for granted. However, there are occasions where "taken for granted" is not such a good thing. Taken for granted implies many negative qualities - at least as many as it does positive. It implies that we do not stop and think. That we do not question. That we make assumptions, and judgements based upon few, or no, facts. It implies that we somehow believe that there is a given "status quo"; that things are the way that they are, and that this is o.k. It implies that we do not see a need for change; or that if we do, we do not ask for, or expect, change to take place. It implies that we do not expect reasons, or justifications.

I am a firm believer that people should NOT take anything for granted. That we were all given brains, and voices for a reason. That we should develop inquiring minds, and never be afraid to ask questions. That we should seek reasons and justifications for the way things are, as opposed to blindly following like sheep.

Today's society holds hidden dangers for the child. Dangers that I would call abuse. And these dangers are often sanctioned; if not actively promoted; by our Governments, by big businesses, by the media, Schools, healthcare providers...by organisations that we generally believe we can trust.

Here are a few examples for you to think about. I do not wish to tell you what to think, believe, or feel. But I DO wish to encourage you to QUESTION:

1. JUNK FOOD. Where do I begin! As adults, we are, as a rule, able to make informed choices. These include choices concerning our diet. We are able to make ourselves aware of the damaging effects of junk food upon our health and self-esteem. Children, on the other hand, are often NOT. Junk food is that food which is high in calories, sugar, or fat content - but little else of significant nutritional value. It includes such things as chocolate, crisps, burgers, chips, fizzy drinks, many takeaway meals such as "McDonalds" or "Burger King", cakes, sweets...funny how appealing these sound! These foods are ADDICTIVE. They create a rapid and short-lived increase in our blood-sugar levels, and often raise endorphin levels in the body. This makes us feel good for a short amount of time. Then the blood-sugar levels fall, endorphin levels return to usual, and we feel "low". We basically get a "sugar rush". And this is addictive. We are trapped in a cycle of craving the "feel good" sensation. And junk food manufacturers KNOW THIS! So do the people who sell the stuff! Too much junk food is aimed at children, who do not know the dangers of eating it. This marketing is deliberate - kids are a captive audience. "Pester power" is a buzzword of the advertising industry. Junk food is fattening, unhealthy, and leads to poor nutrition, obesity, health problems, bullying and low self-esteem. So why does society allow it?

2. "PESTER POWER" MARKETING. I've mentioned this briefly above. Just why is it that so many media advertisements are aimed at making our children want something? No! DEMAND something! Quite simply, the answer is that children are easy targets. They are easily convinced. They do not have life experience, or reasoning abilities commensurate with adults. They cannot understand that if the money is not available to afford a new toy, they cannot have it. They simply WANT it! And they will pester, sulk, and cry, etc. until they get it. Children cannot always comprehend the concept of saving up for something. They cannot always appreciate that they cannot have every new fad or gadget out there. They do not see that one doll is very much the same as the next. Instead, they are caught up in the glitz, the glamour, the excitement, the drama. They want it because it's new, it's "trendy", it's the latest model, they haven't got it yet, it's part of a collectible series...advertisers use all the tricks in the book to persuade kids that they have to have this latest product. To me, this is little other than "brainwashing". It is bullying. It is telling someone what to think, how to behave. It is WRONG. It is not fair to use marketing strategies that leave a child feeling inferior if they do not have the latest toy, gadget, fashion, etc. So why don't we question it?

3. OVER-SEXUALISING. I wrote a whole piece on this (so read it!). It annoys the hell out of me! Surely it's enough to say that kids are kids - and we should LET them BE kids. Little children are not fashion accessories, to be dressed at the whim of designers, in inappropriately sexy and adult garb. Whilst there is no excuse for paedophilia, there is also no excuse for a fashion industry that allows girls as young as 12 to become models. That allows "Baby Beauty Pageants". That fills shops with high heels and miniskirts aimed at pre-pubescents. There is no excuse for a media that sells semi-pornographic music videos to children, that allows explicit lyrics, that markets manufactured bands based upon looks as opposed to vocal ability. There is no excuse for "Glamour Models" and "Wags", who promote nothing other than the message that little girls, in particular, are to rely on their looks for a living - as opposed to intellect, personality and the like. Women who make a career out of marrying for money, not love! What kind of messages are children receiving? Why is this permitted?

4. COMPREHENSIVE EDUCATION. I am a firm believer that children are all individual, with differing ability levels. "One size fits all" is not an education system that I wish to subscribe to. Nor do I feel that it works. I had some of my worst experiences ever at a Comprehensive School! Children need to be nurtured and encouraged, and rewarded for doing well. Comprehensive Schools, to my mind, do not do this. It is no good placing children of mixed ability levels all together in one school. Especially when some have passed the Eleven-Plus examination, and some have not. This only creates jealousy. To then go on to divide the children into "streams" dependent upon grades and ability is just compounding the matter. This creates further bitterness, competition and jealousy. The high-flyers, and at the other extreme, the struggling children, are singled-out. They then become the target for everybody else's bullying. At Comprehensive Schools, the largest number of children are in the middle - and this gives them power by strength of numbers. Those who are not in this "mass" are vulnerable. I was, myself, placed in the top stream at school, and spent all my time there being bullied by those academically below me. Comprehensive Schools encourage jealousy, and this breeds bullying. Children should feel safe and secure in the knowledge that they can learn at their own pace. Not everyone is alike, and being "different" should not make someone a target for bullies. Bring back Grammar Schools!

5. BULLYING AT SCHOOL. Again, I touched on this above. My own experience of bullying was awful! Twelve years of utter hell, that left me feeling victimised; that achievement was a bad thing; that getting good grades was somehow wrong. What I cannot to this day understand is how bullying seems to go so frequently unnoticed by teachers. Even where it WAS made known, little was done to alleviate the problem. Most often, teachers appeared to blame the victim, telling them to "grow up" or "stop fussing " or to "stop telling tales". Parents, too, would often just dismiss the matter with a trite "well, why don't you fight back?". It was rarely taken seriously. I wonder, how many teenage suicides are the result of bullying? Bullying IS SERIOUS. It is ALWAYS SERIOUS. It demeans, it ruins self-esteem, it wrecks lives. It is vicious, and nasty! Left unchecked, it can spiral out of control. Bullies have so many "excuses" to bully. Jealousy (she's/he's prettier/cleverer/taller/thinner/etc. than...); rivalry(we both fancy...); competition (his/her clothes/toy/bike/etc. are better/faster/newer/etc. than...); inadequacy (his/her grades are higher than...)...the list goes on. But ALL of these issues are the BULLY'S problem; NOT the VICTIM'S. Bullying is about vicariously making somebody else suffer for one's OWN shortcomings. Why is it still happening?

6. STRESS AND PRESSURE. Why are children nowadays under so much pressure to perform? There are endless tests and examinations. Testing now takes place at INFANT schools. Why? Do we not realise that fostering competition amongst children is stressful for them? And what about the "hothousing" of youngsters? Forcing kids to become precociously competent at a specific "talent". Examples include Vanessa Mae, Charlotte Church, Drew Barrymore. And what do these children, as adults, have in common? A recollection of their childhood experiences as misery. Fractured families. Drug and alcohol problems. How is that good? Many children are "hothoused" in this way to fulfill a need for the PARENTS. Usually, this "need" is MONEY! Look closely at the world of "Showbusiness" and you will see many sad tales of child "stars" treated in this way. Judy Garland. Macauley Culkin... Children are not there for someone else's benefit. They deserve to live their own lives. Putting a child under pressure is abuse! Children are not there to compete in "Pageants" to glorify their parents. They are not there to become the athlete their father never was, or the math genius grandad always wanted to be, or the ballerina that mother could not be. They have lives of their OWN. Let them live them!

I could go on... But I hope that just with the above, I've given you some food for thought. We should not turn a blind eye to matters as important as these. Society should be a good place for ALL of us to live in. And it is up to us to make it so.

Oh! And I'll probably continue this with some more (controversial) food for thought in another article. But, for now, this should be enough to keep you going!