Another year, more pain

by Hayley
(Birmingham)

I left off last time at the end of my first year in middle school. Things should have got better but they didn't. My parents were still totally unaware of what was happening, strange really considering I was rather moody sometimes. At the end of year 5, my father went on some weird and wonderful course for his work, and I was left alone with my mother and brother. One thursday night I was tring to get to sleep when my mother came up stairs and started screaming at me as I was apparently banging. I tried to protest my innocence but she wouldn't hear it. She had decided that I was banging and no amount of reasoning would change her mind. I was chased along the hallway to the bathroom, peeing myself all the way and got well and truly slapped across my face and legs, until all were red raw. Then I got back to my room where she decided I had wet myself. Or should I say found that I had done that?! Better be honest and go with the latter, even though I tried to pass the interesting wet
marks as sweat. It wasn't quite warm enough to sleep with no clothes on, but I was made to, irregardless of my protests that I would get a cold. That could only be good news to my mother. All the time she was screaming and slapping me she would go into my brother and get him involved. It was two whole days of hell, where I was spoken to and made to feel like dirt. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I felt so alone.

I'm trying to type but after an arguement with two friends, one of whom is making me laugh, I am losing concentration. I thnk I'll finish this on Saturday when I find the ejector button on my bed and peel myself off my bedroom ceiling. I looked a bit sheepish when one friend came to the nursees station, though he said I was looking grumpy.

Home to bed, and in the hope of not having another nightmare. After some encouragement from friends at work and hockey I decided to go and get some counselling sorted out. Hopefully these nightmares will go away and stay away. I'm too big to have a cuddly toy in bed, but I might resort to it yet, as long as they promise not to snore and keep me awake!

This is the only time that anyone from work has actually seen me using this site, two have seen this page on display, one has listened while I read it through, so if it doesn't make sense, it's her fault!

she's gone nuts at me now,roll on 9:00, and I'm apparently a dead wolf now! Ta-ra!!!