Abuse Story From Janlyn

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Abuse Story From Janlyn

by Janlyn
(Location Undisclosed)

I was emotionally abused by my father and emotionally neglected by my mother. but thats another story.

Every time I think about this I well up with tears and feel nervous because I dont know if its my fault. or atleast part my fault.

I started acting out when I was around 15 to get the love and attention I so desperately needed. I guess it was becoming clear to some teachers that I needed help and they gave my parents the name of some counselors. I was glad. I needed and WANTED someone to talk to. But my parents wouldnt allow me to see anyone.

I had stayed back a grade so I was a little older than most of the kids in my class so I turned 18 while still in H.S.

As soon as I turned 18 I was old enough to sign the papers to see the school psychologist. After a couple months I was sensing something strange. Kinda like she "liked" me. But how could I ask and what would she think if that was not the case? I am a female and she was too.

so I put the question in poem form - and the answer was yes - she was interested in me. It made me feel really special. loved. wanted. cared about. It quickly turned to something sexual. she even got me out of school to bring me to her house to have sex with me. I was scared and ashamed to admit I liked it. She would give me alcohol to help me relax and to this day I HATE AMARETTO.

She told me not to tell because she could lose her job. she said if she was backed into a corner she would deny the whole thing. And she was also the director of special ed and my sister was handicapped and i was afraid services might get taken away from her if i told. so I didnt. plus I was/am confused about my role in this.

I dont know if this is considered abuse because I was 18. But I was a student still in high school. a confused, emotionally vulernable kid.

now i feel angry - real angry about what happened. but i dont know if i have that right since i was 18.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for
Abuse Story From Janlyn

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Nov 28, 2011

Janlyn:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You most definitely have every right to feel as you do. You were betrayed by this therapist. And she breached her ethics as a counsellor. That's why she swore you to secrecy and told you that she would deny it if backed against a wall. Whether or not you were a child, part of her job was to keep the relationship professional, counsellor to patient. She was in a position of trust, and even authority, over you. She took advantage of your vulnerabilities, and then groomed you toward her. Of course you would like the attention you so craved. She knew that and exploited it. That's why there are professional guidelines that deal with this very thing. So please don't blame your Self. Any shame, guilt or blame belongs to her, not you. Whether or not you can or want to report what she did, I can't say. Nor do I know if that's even possible given you did not include where you live. But perhaps you want to look into it because there's every chance that if she's practicing, she's doing this to other vulnerable patients, child or otherwise. There are other types of therapy that you can resort to, Janlyn. Please consider looking into them in order to deal with the abuse you endured at home and the betrayal at the counsellor's hands. I know that trust is now a huge issue for you. Just realize that not all counsellors or therapists are like this. Do your homework. If you can't trust a counsellor, you won't make any progress. Trust is crucial. Speak openly about the betrayal you experienced with her when you do find someone. In this way you can deal with those issues first, and then build up trust. I wish you all the best, Janlyn. Always remember that none of what happened was your fault. NONE OF IT. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Nov 28, 2011

restore your right to safety
by: Jill

Janlyn,
Please understand that it was clearly not your fault. That psychologist is a smooth bully and you were her next victim. Even though you were 18, you were still a student. She used her power over you for self-gratification and violated your right to safety. Any adult who disputes this doesn't get it.

There's that ridiculous gender bias that says women couldn't be offenders. Picture a man who's having an affair with an 18 year old student in his class. The manipulative behavior is the same. The psych. knew she was breaking the law, banked on the gender bias, and bullied you into thinking you couldn't report her... until you got that hey, wait a minute.... feeling.

The fact that your parents didn't allow you to see a counselor shows that they were bullying you too. From what you've written, I can tell that you're are a very instinctive, sensitive, responsible person who treats yourself and others with dignity. You can step out of the cycle of abuse by standing on your own and supporting yourself in your recovery from what happened.

You can restore your right to safety by turning your anger into the feelings you hid when she violated that right. Understand them and when you're ready, let them go so they don't keep hurting you. Report her if you need to, your story matters.

Nov 29, 2011

The Horror
by: Anonymous

Janlyn, I can't believe that your mom would abandon you to the so-called care of that sicko of a father and allow him to abuse and berate you 24/7...how dare she! As for that so-called therapist, shame on her for abusing her own power of authority over you! I know that not all therapists are created equally, but offending you and giving you alcohol alone is just enough for that sorry excuse of a human being to get fired, since teachers, counsellors, and therapists alike are not supposed to let minors drink any alcohol. The path that she and your parents chose is inexcusable. I really hope that you're in a safe place now, away from those sickos, and if not, please tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you. Oh, and please look into reporting that sick pervert as well.

Nov 29, 2011

Thank you
by: Janlyn

Wow! Thank you Darlene and Jill. Your letters to me helped a lot! Ive decided to try counseling again so I can let this go.
Janlyn

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Abuse Story From Janlyn

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