A New Category of Child Pornography?

by My Two Cents
(Canada)

Where to start...I was toying with the idea of going back to school for my master's in social work degree (I have my bachelor's degree in social work) and I did some preliminary preparation, like visiting this site and commenting at times. I seemed to find an area of child abuse that sounded like it needed some attention, female perpetrated child sexual abuse and I started to gather some information in that area. I thought I might do some work in that area for a thesis or a research paper perhaps.


Long story short, I don't have the grades to get into the school in my province, so I am looking at a different area of study that has nothing to do with social work.

I did however keep up my informal studies by looking at this website and other websites. I have to say, I find Darlene's site to be the best - it's not too over-the-top, the stories tell what has happened without getting too graphic, and Darlene and the other people who comment seem to be nice and knowlegable.

Now....there's a trend I've started to notice. Some sites are getting a little too graphic. I don't see pictorial pornography on any sites I have visited, but I have seen what I characterize as "textual pornography." For example, if a babysitting site is discussing how to cause erections when they give their male charges a bath, I consider that textual pornography.

I've seen that example I gave above. I've reported it to both my municipal police department and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), but I think the problem is the anonymity of the internet. I have no idea where the website is hosted from. I have assumed it is USA but it could be Canada or Europe for all I know.

So, I'm a little frustrated. Does anyone have any ideas on how this can be dealt with? Is there a central body to report this to, like Interpol? I assume that the RCMP shares tips and information with Interpol but....?

Let me be clear - I don't think it's a problem for a new babysitter to go on a babysitting site and post, "The mom has asked me to bath him when I sit tomorrow night! How do I do this??? I've never bathed a boy before!" I don't consider that a crime. But if someone goes on the site and posts, "Hey, guess what! I'm babysitting tomorrow for a 5 year old boy, and his mom asked me to bath him!! I can't wait to wash his privates!" I think it's crossing a line. I would have the same problem irrespective of the gender of the kid. I really don't see why the parents want a babysitter to wash a kid they're sitting for, what, 3 hours? The bath can't wait?




Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:


Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.


Comments for A New Category of Child Pornography?

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 01, 2012
To My Two Cents:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Thank you for the kinds words about my site. Very much appreciated. And thank YOU for your insight & ongoing supportive contributions.

There is no question about it, the Internet is a pervert's haven. What you speak of happens on my site quite often. What makes my site different is that there is a human being making decisions about what does & doesn't go live; me. I delete many posts for the reasons you've stated above. There are some submissions that are clearly sent for the sake of sharing porn, getting a thrill. I always have to balance the need for the person to share & be heard with maintaining the integrity of what's being shared, and whether or not what's being shared is appropriate for my visitors. In truth, there is no way to completely eliminate what some find arousing, but I do what I can, taking each story on it's own merits. There are a number of threads here that teeter on the edge every day. Some days I delete just about all comments being posted. I am also cognizant of the keywords that appear in a story/comment, which is why I now remove the key letters in profanity and jumble up some of the phrases that predators & porn seekers look for so they do not find them with a browser search.

As for who to report inappropriate content to, that's a difficult one. Although the technology exists to find where posts originate, most law enforcement agencies do not have access to such expensive technology. And the tech on the other side is always finding ways to avoid detection. There is the Missing and Exploited Children website, but they expect you to have a great deal of information and the knowledge of a missing or exploited child in order to make a report. Over the years I've make several reports based on content I've received on this site. They do not report back, so there is no way of knowing the outcome. There is the Internet Watch Foundation based in the UK. As far as I know they are still operational (they've had a great deal of success finding & shutting down porn rings). And I am aware that law enforcement agencies around the world have worked with them, including the RCMP, to successfully shut down such rings. We must all do our part, but the fact is this is one of the dark sides of Internet anonymity. Good luck in whatever studies to decide to go into, My Two Cents. Thank you for caring and sharing. As always, I send you love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Aug 02, 2012
Comment deleted by Webmaster
by: Anonymous

From Darlene - Webmaster: My Two Cents, and my other visitors to this thread, I've deleted this comment from this particular commenter (and will delete all additional comments from her) because her numerous, multiple posts are judgmental and wholly inappropriate, and she just won't stop posting here on this site. This is all I can do to keep you informed, as I cannot block her. I thank you for your understanding. And I send the woman love, light and healing energy.

Aug 03, 2012
my two cents worth
by: Scott 1

On your "quest" to gain understanding of the female sexual predator by all means feel free to explore the "type" that had her way with me. Follow the comments also. I am not alone. Ive always wondered what kind of human being would do that sort of thing. I always thought women were more the protectors with the "natural" maternal instincts. While we are all aware that there are degrees of offensive behaviors by these people..what kind of human being, what kind of woman does what these "types" do? No attempt at hiding it! Many witnesses. It leaves me questions. Was it a fetish driven fantasy? Was it an abuse of power(power trip) spun out of control. Was it rage and anger born of frustration elsewhere in her life? Was it a feeling of revenge for all men who wronged her in her entire life? What kind of woman takes a magnifying glass to one little person and burns them under such intense scrutiny? Was it religious fanaticism? I have none of these answers and I try and analize the nature of the beast. **Forgiveness is for me. But is forgivness not also about understanding the "perp"..and feeling sorry for them? The older I get the weirder some things of my past seem. We all know and knew about the boogy man under the bed..but no one warns us of the evil who practice their art of darkness in broad dayligt. Find someone to analize her and those like her. How did they get away with this? How many lives have thay ruined? Where are they now? What did they do in private if they could do that in public? Born of duty? This was her duty?

Aug 03, 2012
for scott1
by: My Two Cents

Just to clarify, I'm not studying this formally. It was an area I was interested in focusing on for social work school.

That said, I assume that you are asking why women abuse in general? You should google:

Dr. Christine Hatchford (food?)

Making Daughters Safe

She has done research in the area of women who perperate sexual abuse of their daughters and some of her work might be helpful to you.

If you are asking specifically why women abuse males, I don't know if there is a definite answer. I know there is research that says molesters have a specific age and gender which they prefer to abuse. That said, if I knew a male preferred to abuse 3 year old females, I still wouldn't allow him around 8 year old males or females.

I can tell you that there are reasons why women "get away with it" such as our North American culture which sees the young boy who is seduced by an older woman as "lucky." Total garbage.

Take this example:

A 30 year old male has a sexual encounter with a 10/12/14/16 year old female teen.

Did she (the teen) get "lucky"?

Or:

A 30 year old female has a sexual encounter with a 10/12/14/16 year old male teen.
Did he (the teen) get "lucky"?

The answer is "NO" in both cases. But ask people and most are going to say the male "got lucky."

That example was teenagers. Younger kids, who's usually buying the kids clothes? The laundry? The caregivers have a chance to check the "fit" and "accidentally" see the kid's privates. If the kid is very young, the caregivers may be helping in the bath, which is an opportunity to abuse under the disguise of caregiving. If the predator plans things carefully, they might have the kid believing that certain cleaning rituals MUST be done, and done by the caregiver.

And a quick note. It's really interesting that sexual abuse wasn't on the radar when it comes to women for the longest time because when you look at the history of child abuse, in discussing neglect, you will see lots of female perperators. How is it they can be suspected of "neglect" and not even on the radar for other stuff?

Be well.

My Two Cents.

Aug 04, 2012
porn?
by: Scott 1

I might add that back then these people, in my case a woman, she put on live shows for the children. And in another case a witness.Strip shows. And humiliation shows and nude beatings shows. All live. Wasnt porn though? But yet so many find the written word offensive and porn. But now looking back what was all that nudity and "discipline" for if it werent for her own pleasure. A person who isnt "in" to that would avoid it. Really makes one think ..what were the intentions?

From Darlene - Webmaster: Scott, My Two Cents doesn't know all that you're referring to, so it might be a good idea to identify the type of abuse this woman inflicted. I'm aware of what you dealt with, and even I found your comment to be a bit...cryptic. Of course, I mean no disrespect when I say this. But given My Two Cents' response, saying it outright would help her to understand more easily.

Aug 04, 2012
sorry..read my story
by: Scott 1

Hi Darlene yes I never thought of that. It seems cryptic so as to not write my expereinces over and over and just I assume once prompted by curiosity the reader will naturally read my story. My two cents. Im talking about the many "spankings" I received in class/school. She went unchallanged and out of control on me.

Aug 05, 2012
spankings and public exposure
by: My Two Cents

I think I understand now. You're referring to being spanked in a public school, in front of your peers by a female teacher?

This is just my personal thoughts and observations.

1.I don't think you were alone. I think there are more victims out there, especially if this woman was a teacher for any length of time. Let's say she taught grade 3 for 10 years. That's 10 years when she had the opportunity to spank "wrong doers."

2. I strongly suspect that this teacher got a sexual charge/gratification from having a nude child laying over her lap. She would have had the boy's genitals pressing against her thighs, she would have been administering physical pain with her hand or a ruler to a child's bare bottom, and she would also have been humiliating the child by exposing him/her to peers.

3. Magnifying glass - what you meant was that she had her eagle eyes open for any reason to spank, correct? I think she wanted a reason, something to justify a spanking punishment. I don't think there's anything you could have done to avoid this, I think she just wanted an excuse, something she could use to justify spanking you or others. This is a form of manipulation to convince the witnesses and victims it was appropriate.

4. This is going to be the hard part for you to hear. Child molesters are very cunning and manipulative. They will take some steps to "hide" their abuse. This teacher probably chose her victims. She probably singled out a few children for abuse because it's easier to dismiss one or two children saying, "Miss Jones spanks me in front of the class with my pants down!" Especially when "Miss Jones" can say, "Scott1 was misbehaving and I spanked him for it."

Now, why you? Why not Tommy or Lynn, or Greg? Perhaps she knew you'd been in trouble with the principal previously, for example if you were caught setting a fire in the bathroom? So you were "labelled" a "trouble-maker" and she could have the opportunity to "discipline" you since you were "bad"? As for boys vs girls, it could be possible that she felt girls modesty had to be respected more than boys, or she preferred to spank boys?

5.It was a different time and cultural setting. Spanking was allowed in the 70's and 80's. It wasn't considered "wrong" the way it is nowadays. This doesn't mean it was right, it just means it was easier to hide spankings that were administered for the purposes of sexual gratification.

Does that help? These are really just my personal thoughts and feelings about the situation.

The only way you could know for sure would be to ask this teacher. I don't know if this would be satisfactory because she might deny or minimize it.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

Sep 05, 2012
alone yes
by: Scott 1

she had her magnifying glass on me ..what I mean was it was only me.

I was the only person called out in the classroom. She just kept going and going and going and it got worse and worse. Until the last couple of times I remember.

It was me..her rage towering over me..and the audiance watching every flinch I made. She made them watch. You can see what I mean by alone cant you?

I always hoped that opening this story would bring teachers out of the wood work to tell their side. But it finally occurred to me that Darlene would not allow such comments that condone spanking at all.

I also wanted to get more feed back from other school survivors and maybe join our voices together. But we cant contact one another. So its all alone.

I thought someone might benefit from reading what happened and it might help them but Im beginning to doubt that now. I image there are all sorts of perverted comments Darlene has deleted that I know nothing about.

Sharing what happened seems to have helped no one and I might as well ask Darlene to remove my entire story from her sight.

Sep 06, 2012
like to add thanks
by: Scott 1

I would like to add a bit more to the above.

I want to thank Darlene for keeping this site safe. What I mean is, Im sure there are probably all sorts of inaproprate comments that get ignored that we no nothing of. This is done for our own safety(sanity /peace of mind). And I agree. Personally I dont want to read that attack on myself or others from the "pro spank" crowd.

"Spanking" continues to be some sort of debate of 50-50 proportions it seems. So many against so many for. Thanks to Darlene my thread has not turned into that mire. There is enough of that battle in other places. I didnt want my comments section to turn into that.

I had hoped for more people from my country or province to be brave enough to step forward with their stories of school abuse as I have. But I must be prepared in case that doesnt happen. Personally I would like to have heard from teachers or retired teachers who admit that what happened back then was wrong. Things they witnessed. Would be nice to have that on our side. Surely they arent all spankers! But like I said I must be prepared for a lack of feedback on their part.

Me feeling let down isnt anymore Darlenes fault as it is the fault of this site. This site and its owner are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. And its a privledge to be able to post on here and have a safe place to do so.

My feelings of disapointment come from within myself. Born of my inability to exact some sort of justice. Justice in having those who have done wrong to us (former students)held accountable and perhaps we come away from this with some sort of monetary gain. Or at least holding our head high as we werent the bad kids were were told we were.

Looking for more people to exact justice might seem like a "pack mentality" but I believe the more of us that come out and speak up about the beatings we got in school back then, the stronger and louder my/our voice will be.

Im just disapointed more havent come forward. It makes me feel as though my story helped no one and serves no perpose or benefitted anyone. Anyone other than myself. For me expressing what happened has been a load off my shoulders.

Sitting around waiting for things to change perhaps isnt the way to make things better. perhaps getting out and doing the leg work is whats required in getting things to move forward in a persons life quest. A quest for which sharing ones story is only the beginning.

Thanks Darlene for being there and giving us this safe place we call our own. Maybe my writing does reach someone out there some day and help them feel less alone.

Sep 06, 2012
for Scott1
by: My Two Cents

Scott1, I didn't see your replies til today.

I'm not a lawyer, but I wonder if you might want to contact the residential school investigation team that is looking at the experiences of aboriginal children in the residential school institutions? They may be able to direct you to some legal resources for legal remedies. This would be my starting point. Judge Murray Sinclair is the inquiry head.

The other options could be legal aid, or if you live in a province with a university that has a law faculty, sometimes these law faculties have legal clinics which can be resources for people with issues like this.

This is not the only site I visit on child abuse topics, it is however the only site I comment on. That said, I don't remember seeing any website talking about someone admitting they were wrong to do x, y, or z. If anything, it seems to be the opposite. "I was happy to have the opportunity to spank Tommy today and see his bits" or a variation is what is usually posted.

I suspect that what you want is political change. This is already underway in Canada. A leading medical journal is calling for a change to Canada's spanking laws, I have to go find the story and post the reference. It came out this week if you want to look with google.

There is also a survivor's conference.....or a child abuse conference taking place in Chicago soon....the fall of 2012 or winter 2013 I think. Again, I'll look for the conference details. I will warn you up front, one criticism that is being made is that some survivors feel the focus is all on the children and that the adult survivors are an afterthought.

Hmm...another thought, if there are faculties of social work at the universities near you, you may wish to speak with one of the faculty professors about this issue and what can be done.

I hope some of that is helpful. I will check for the spanking/medical story and the conference location and date.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

Jan 02, 2014
Female Perps
by: AnonS

I have a general interest in researching female perpetrators of sexual abuse on male victims. Although there may be other differences between male and female perpetrators, to keep this short and simple, from my understanding females sexually abuse for a lot of the same reasons males do. for a female who likes males and has a domineering sexual personality type the prospect of children may be highly appealing. It could be argued that children have feminine traits and some women like this in the same way that men like this. In the same way that not all men have masculine traits, not all women have feminine traits or are very maternal. This debate comes under the same category as that of gender traits and those who are transgendered and is this really possible. I just noticed the comment come up somewhere in the conversation about females being protectors of the species, which they should be; we should all be and it is understandable why this is confusing to children. It could be argued that there is often a sprinkling of truth in some generalisations, and if women are seen in this way in society it could be shattering to find out that this is not always the case. Women can also have as strong sexual urges and fantasies as men; at the end of the day it is all situation ethics and each perpetrator needs to be evaluated individually, not just based on their gender. Obviously I find these cases very sad, which compels me to keep asking, watching, reading; knowledge is power and society needs to arm itself against these awful things. I just wanted to give a brief opinion on this issue. Thank you.

Jan 02, 2014
under reported.
by: Scot 1

I very rarely ever read of a female offender of children in the newspaper. One day I read of a man who assaulted, and breaking conditions of release was found to be associating with a female of the same inclination. This was the cause of the female female being mentioned. Am I the only one who boils at the stereotype of male only, and never mention of the female. When are we ever going to expose that fact, that women can pose exactly the same threats and can and actually do, do the same things. Not all women are motherly and protective! Why this shroud of secrecy? Isn't it time the world knows the truth and heads be unburied from the sand. As far as the text porn I agree. Its all over the place and can be a huge turn off for a man who is dealing with past abuse from a woman in his childhood, for instance when using a dating/match making site. The world has changed.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Child Abuse Commentary.